Personal-My Journey So Far

 

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There are a lot of reasons I decided to start living a keto lifestyle. My story starts out similar to many others who have transitioned their lives. I was raised in a middle class family who made a lot of easy casseroles for dinner and bought quick snacks for on the go. Both of my parents are overweight so from an early age, I grasped their eating habits as the only way to eat. To put it simply, it was living to eat and not eating to live.

My entire life I have struggled with severe depression and anxiety and the only way I knew to make myself feel better was to have something good to eat. I never seemed to feel full until I was stuffed and even then, it wouldn’t last long. If I wasn’t nauseous, I was hungry. Two weeks after I turned 18, I moved into my very own apartment on a Subway Shop salary so I was living very close to the financial edge. This is when I learned that processed and sugar-filled foods were cheap and could last me until my next paycheck.

Ever since I was a little girl I never felt like I had any energy to do anything. My parents called it laziness but I knew that it was more than that when I found myself too tired to go out with my friends or do any extracurricular activities. This continued into adulthood. I would hear my co workers talk about going out after work or having to run errands after working 9 hours shifts and I could not wrap my head around how they found all of this energy when I would be too tired to even shower after work.

And then it just clicked.

I am not taking care of myself and I am not dealing with my depression. This is why I am so tired.

One night while working 3rd shift I realized that it was me running away from all of my problems that was causing MOST of my problems.

I had known people at my work who had lost a significant amount of weight eating a ketogenic diet so it was this first thing I decided to research. I spent hours and hours reading about what the diet was and how to do it properly. From there on out, I decided that it was the right choice for me for many reasons. I am an all or nothing person. Why restrict calories if you are not going to properly nourish your body? Why workout if you’re eating fast food every day? Keto gave me the restrictions I needed and focused on my main craving…CARBS.

I ate strict keto for about 3 months and incorporated exercise about 3 weeks in. A month after I started keto I also quit smoking after ten years. I lost over 50 pounds during this period while my skin cleared up and I had a better outlook on life. Everyone that I knew noticed the change before I did so I am so glad that I took progress pictures to truly see the difference. Starting at almost 300 lbs., I found it was very difficult to be proud of how much I have lost instead of thinking about the still long weight loss journey I had ahead of me.

At the beginning of Summer, I entered into a relationship where I felt my diet was getting in the way of us being happy together. It felt like a burden. It started with a cheat day here or there and turned into excuse after excuse. The relationship fell apart and I felt horrible about myself at all points of the day. I figured that I deserved carbs because I was so incredibly sad. Shortly after that, I had two surgeries one week apart and once again….”I deserve carbs because of the surgeries and during the healing process, right?”

Here I am, healed from my surgeries and left with no excuses. I am back to being exhausted all of the time and not going to the gym. I also started smoking again. Keto was easy when I was happy at my well paying, stable job and I had the best people surrounding me. It all changed when life happened and things didn’t go as planned. The relationship that left me questioning if I really deserved to be happy, the surgeries, the loss and betrayal of good friends, and the stepping down from my position at work due to overwhelming stress left me feeling lost and uncertain of my future. This is why I have turned to this website.

I have youth on my side right now but I won’t have it forever. I want to be able to live the life I deserve even through the bad times. Self destructing when things get hard is my M.O. and I know that I deserve to be happy and fulfilled just like any other person. It was at this point where I decided that I don’t have a job to tie me down and I need to kick it into overdrive to deal with my depression and get back on track. I now have to opportunity to have a fresh start and be who I want to be. I started this website to not only share all of the amazing things I have learned about this lifestyle but to also hold myself accountable for my decisions.

So what now?

I am working on my finances as my debt has grown substantially in the past couple of months, I am working on checking my ketones and seeing that dark line at the end of the stick again, I am working on keeping my house clean, I am working on quitting smoking, I am working on taking better care of myself in general, I am working on getting back into the gym as often as possible, and I am working on Win by Losing every second that I can.

Why?

Because I deserve it. Just like you do.

I know this isn’t the perfect keto story but it is MY story. They don’t use the word “Journey” for nothing. You need to fix your mind while fixing your body.

Self-love is KEY. 

I will find balance in my life and I will find happiness. One good decision at a time.

This was important for me to write for many reasons. I do not have it all together and I don’t want to give the impression that I do. I want everyone to know my story so they work on theirs and know that we are in this together. Thank you for taking the time to read and thank you for coming along this crazy journey with me.

 

Do you struggle with depression and being overweight? How do you deal with it yourself?

Leave a comment below!

 

See also:

Diet and Depression

The Self Love Diet

What is Keto? – Beginning Your Journey

Why do Yoga?

6 thoughts on “Personal-My Journey So Far

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